Paris for President!

It’s a perfect ending to this presidential campaign season: Paris Hilton decides to throw her bikini into the ring.

And how fitting. After Mike Gravel, Rudy Giuliani, Ralph Nader, Cynthia McKinney and all those other clowns, why not Paris Hilton?

After all, she’s sexier than Barack Obama. She’s more articulate than John McCain. And she’s more famous than either one of them.

And she’s not as dumb as she looks. With no experience, and no army of consultants, Paris came up with a better energy plan than that wrinkly old white-haired guy, whatever his name is.

There’s only one problem, of course. Paris Hilton is only 27 years old: not old enough to be president. But that problem is easily fixed. She may not be old enough to serve as president, but she’s old enough to be elected president. So, just like they used to do with the Dauphin Princes during the Middle Ages, the solution is to make her president but not give her the crown until she’s old enough to wear it.

How exciting. Paris Hilton for president! See you at the debate, bitches.

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