How to survive a post-election Thanksgiving

The reactions post this election have been much more heightened  this year than in previous years, with people either falling into the despair or ecstatic extremes. As a clinical psychologist and behaviorist the responses from my own patients have been strikingly black or white, not falling into  the “wait and see” category that I have seen in previous election years. 

To avoid any possible conflict that may arise in this political aftermath, I suggest addressing politics head on by announcing to your family that politics is not on the table for discussion this Thanksgiving. After such a contentious election, it’s better to steer clear of the subject as people’s mindsets are still struggling to digest the result of the election.

{mosads}From a psychological perspective, it’s critically important to first allow people to assimilate this new information which for some was processed as acute stress. Only after the anxiety from the initial acute stress reaction has subsided, can new information about policy changes be absorbed without an initial “flight or fight” response that comes as a natural reaction to fear.

Thanksgiving is too early post-election to discuss the results of the election without being emotionally driven. Thanksgiving can be a time to take a mental break from politics, allowing the mind to assimilate without media noise. As time allows decompression to occur, an ability post-Thanksgiving to eventually peacefully discuss policy is possible.

Thanksgiving is really a time to be gracious as a family and to celebrate the essential core values you do share. Focusing on these commonalities will emphasize the inclusion and peace that Thanksgiving is all about. To implement this, I suggest involving the family this Thanksgiving in activities that harness this idea. It could be something as simple as having your family share a family memory that they are most thankful for or playing a game in which everyone is on the same team.

At a time, that has brought such national divisiveness, it is psychologically important to engage in activities among family and friends that involve team-building skills reminding us the importance of the ability to work together as a community and our ability to problem-solve together.

Now, politics is likely going to come up naturally in conversation so be prepared. Reinforce the behavior of avoiding political chatter by adopting the idea of a “swear jar” for election related vocabulary (ie. Hillary, Trump, election, democrats, republicans, etc.). Have the family decide together what to do with the ”swear jar” contributions.

The benefit of this approach, is that it creates a game so as to add levity to a potentially tense situation. This strategy also has family and friends working together towards a common goal of keeping the Thanksgiving environment wholesome and safe for everyone. It serves as a subtle reminder about caring and kindness to others, in particular those we love. Since everyone is included in the decision of what to do with what is collected in the jar, this is another opportunity to negotiate as a team as these are important bricks to pave for future, more difficult discussions of national significance.

Surviving a post-election Thanksgiving will need to be a shared effort from everyone in the family. Work together to create yet another enjoyable and memorable Thanksgiving dinner. And maybe along the way, in an effort to avoid conflict, you’ll happen upon new traditions you want to add to next year’s holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dr. Jennifer Guttman, PsyD is a clinical psychologist and cognitive-behaviorist, with over 20 years of experience in the field of mental health. With a Doctorate in psychology, Dr. Guttman provides psychological services to over 120 clients at her private practices in New York City and Connecticut.

The views expressed by contributors are their own and not the views of The Hill.