Bridging the political divide regardless of who your family members voted for

This year’s presidential election has been particularly divisive. Tomorrow, many of us will share our Thanksgiving dinner with friends and family who do not share our political views. Should we avoid conversation? 

The National Institute for Civil Discourse (NICD), a nonpartisan research and advocacy group affiliated with the University of Arizona, has worked through this election campaign to help Americans reach out across the political divide.

In the spirit of repairing and strengthening our connections to one another, we offer these suggestions for surviving Thanksgiving:

1. As you sit down with relatives that have different political perspectives than you, try to see it as an opportunity to listen to their ideas; don’t form a response or debate. Instead, just listen and try to better understand their point of view. Think about the values and beliefs that are important to them and that lead them to feel the way they do.
2. If a family member makes a snide comment about your political beliefs, you can respond by saying something like this: “Even though I don’t agree with your political beliefs, I respect and try to understand them. I would hope that you would try to do the same for me.” Then ask them about a different issue and practice the first survival guide tip.
3. Acknowledge that while your dinner guests have different views, you all still have things in common. Strive to find and discuss these commonalities. For example, you all agree that you want the best for this country, even if you disagree on how to get there.
4. Given the divisiveness of this past election, you may decide to keep your Thanksgiving politics-free. Agree ahead of time not to talk about politics at the table. Use the time to get to know each other on a different level. Ask each other about childhood memories or express gratitude for all you have in your life. Remember that you have a wonderful meal in front of you and are lucky enough to be sharing it surrounded by people important to you.

It’s important to remember the theme of Thanksgiving – spending time with family and giving thanks for all that we have. Using these tips and staying away from conversations that will divide the table will help to create a festive and fun occasion with your loved ones.

Robert G. Boatright is director of the NICD Research Network and is also professor of political science at Clark University in Worcester, Mass.