Let Them Eat Locally Grown

Why does Elizabeth Edwards insist upon publicly emasculating her husband?

First, she headlines a breakfast at San Francisco’s Gay Pride Parade — an outlandish spectacle of public nudity, baby oil and papier-mâché — where she declares support for same-sex marriage. Her husband is left stuttering on the stump as he explains that Elizabeth speaks for herself, not the campaign.

Then Mrs. Edwards attacks Hillary Clinton for not being half the woman her husband is. Now there’s a winning message to sell throughout America’s heartland.  

Then yesterday, in what one friend described to me as the Edwardses’ “jump the shark” moment, the missus was nagging to a group of environmentalists about what fruit we should or should not be eating.

A rival publication reports that Elizabeth Edwards told a crowd of environmentalists yesterday, “‘We’ve been moving back to “buy local,”‘ … outlining a trade policy that ‘acknowledges the carbon footprint’ of transporting fruit.

“‘I live in North Carolina. I’ll probably never eat a tangerine again,’ she said, speaking of a time when the fruit is [sic] reaches the price that it ‘needs’ to be.”

Mr. Edwards said he’s not sure he shares his wife’s policy about agriculture. Wait, remind me again — which Edwards is running for president?

It’s also worth noting that Mrs. Edwards will most assuredly have the opportunity to eat locally grown tangerines when she jets to Florida to stump for the mister. “Locally grown” is a relative term when you’re a jet-setter like Mr. and Mrs. Edwards.