Election 2016: A choice between Goldfinger and Darth Vader

Donald “Goldfinger” Trump has tried from the beginning of his campaign to emasculate, or effeminate, his opponents and detractors by calling them names, branding them. From “Crooked” and “Devil” Hillary herself, to “Bleeding” Megyn Kelly, “Pocahontas” Elizabeth Warren and Carly Fiorina’s “Face” insult, to “Little Marco” Rubio, “Lying” Ted Cruz, and “Communist” Bernie Sanders.

Kind of childish, not very “presidential”, maybe mean spirited, immature …whatever.

Some names stick, some don’t. We laugh, we’re incensed, the thin skin media pundits go nuts …we move on.

{mosads}In a recent column in the Herald Journal, Logan, Utah, August 13, 2016, I talked about how powerful the branding technique is in advertising and how deadly powerful it could be in real life and in politics. I tried to explain how branding works, or doesn’t work, the psychology, and how it can backfire. Ultimately, it is a powerful tool …a weapon.

I suggested the brand name “Goldfinger” for Mr. Trump, and urged the DNC to start calling him “Goldfinger” until the name stuck. If he doesn’t self-destruct on his own merit, I guaranteed this branding would stick, eat away at his megalomaniac ego, cut him down to size, and leverage the election away from him. I presented a sound argument for my case suggesting that a potential “President Goldfinger” would be too much of a comically humiliating legacy for both him and America to bear. A worldwide laughing stock.

I drew the obvious comparisons between Trump and the “Goldfinger” character detailing the similarities both in the movie character and in the famous “Goldfinger” theme song. “…he loves only gold!”   

My bet was that come election day, if the DNC used the branding prescription and the timing I suggested, America would never elect “Goldfinger” as its 45th President.

Now, in the spirit of all fairness and equal time, I would respectfully like to offer the RNC a similarly powerful branding for Mrs. Clinton. My goodness, she brings a substantial amount of baggage to the table.

First, I don’t buy the fact that her being potentially the first woman president is a reason to elect her. She’s going to have to work harder than that. If she could be the first woman president, I can get just as excited about Trump potentially being the first outsider president.   

There is a black hole surrounding Hillary Clinton, and it’s troublesome. With Trump you get Coney Island. With Hillary you get a black hole. Mystery. Suspected wrongdoing. Mistrust.

With Trump you get unpredictable, off the cuff …kind of crazy. But not necessarily a bad, calculating, evil man. With Hillary you get deceit, seemingly. Hidden agendas. You get doubt. There’s always something about her that just doesn’t add up. Something’s wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it. You can point your finger at Trump, and laugh. With Hillary, you want to be careful you don’t lose your finger.   

With Trump, you see what you get and you get what you see, like it or not. I believe him when he says, “I will always tell you the truth.”  That’s probably because he’s not as good a liar as Hillary.   

If trump is wearing a clown’s mask, then I suggest Hillary is wearing a bandit’s mask.

Okay, RNC, here it is, my brand name for Hillary. When you hear it, it should resonate immediately and as equally, if not more inherently perfect as “Goldfinger” does for Trump.

“Darth Vader.”  

Whereas Trump is a dead ringer for Goldfinger, Hillary is more in line with Darth Vader’s persona than physical stature. Nonetheless, two fictitious, evil characters. No Ronald Reagan and Donna Reed.

If Trump has earned a reputation as an as**ole, then Hillary has earned her reputation behind closed doors as a bi**h.

Think about Hillary’s persona, her demeanor. She emanates an almost masculine personality. Ominous. She’s wound tight. Something’s always pending …her next FBI questioning, or Justice Dept. hearing. Her next alibi. Her perceived rite of passage to power. She’s owed the presidency, she can taste it, and she will have it.  

She seems to be always hiding something. A hidden agenda steeped in mystery and doubt, and none of it good.

This may be grossly unfair, but in a caricaturized persona she seems to sometimes border on evil. Her facial expressions, her demonic laugh, her privilege, her anger. Maybe it’s just her extensive lifetime experience of playing both ends against the middle and her carnal knowledge of corrupt systems.

Or maybe it’s her “woman scorned” coming out. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Sorry, but it’s a factor, and it’s on the table. Elephant in the living room. Bill in the White House living room is quite a mental optic as well. What an ultimate righteous justification for her to become president ..the first woman president.                 

Think about all the controversy surrounding the good Hilary vs. the bad Hillary. The Clinton baggage …Bill, Benghazi, emails, Whitewater, Clinton Foundation, etc. Then on the other side of the coin, there’s her proffered love of children, minorities, women’s rights, health care, working people, furry animals, and all that is good.

Something’s rotten in Denmark. (I wonder if in Denmark they say, Something’s rotten in America?)  

There is an ominous black hole with Hillary that we are about to fall into if we’re not careful. And at the bottom …Darth Vader may be waiting for us.

If you read the papers and watch the broadcast news updates and reports, and really make an effort to study the candidates beyond the superficial television personality contest, you are filled with doubt concerning both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

Depending on which publications and networks you are reading and watching, the tides shift daily. Trump University scandal / Clinton Foundation scandal, Trump ties to Russia / Clinton ties to the middle east, Trump’s taxes / Hillary’s emails, Clinton Whitewater / Trump Taj Mahal, Liar Hillary / Fraud Trump. It goes on and on, blow for blow. If you’re keeping score, it looks like a tie. The disconcerting thing is that there are virtually no positives, all negatives. Whoever has the least demerits, not the most attributes, wins.  

Hillary claims experience against Trump’s government inexperience. She claims a steady hand to hold the course. She’s a consummate insider. She could run America blindfolded with one hand tied behind her back. This could also mean she’d fall asleep at the wheel. Trump has shown that his hand is ready to shift gears when needed. This could also be either a good or bad thing for us.

Our choices for president are not promising. In fact, they’re pretty scary.         

If you are still undecided on who to vote for, you are not alone in the universe. If you wish there were more choices of candidates, well there are, including your own write-ins. But right now it looks like it’s either Goldfinger or Darth Vader.

Either way, vote, but have a good back-up plan.

And may the Force be with you.

John Kushma is a communication consultant and lives in Logan, Utah.

The views expressed by Contributors are their own and are not the views of The Hill.