Wardrobe to Nowhere

Poor John McCain and Sarah Palin. The more they try to sell themselves off as average Americans, just like you and me, the more embarrassing stuff gets in the way.

First, the news that McCain has nine houses and 13 cars and wears $520 Ferragamo loafers. Then, word from Vanity Fair that Cindy McCain’s outfit on opening night of the Republican National Convention cost a staggering $313,000. And now, reports of Caribou Barbie’s $150,000 shopping spree.

Economic crisis? Not for Palin. She dropped $49,425.74 at Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York. While in the Big Apple, she also shelled out $5,102.71 at Bloomingdale’s, and another $789.72 at Barney’s. She picked up $9,447.71 worth of rags at Macy’s.

Then she really hit the jackpot, scoring $75,062.63 in new duds from Neiman-Marcus in Minneapolis. And don’t forget her $345 (frames only) Kawasaki eyeglasses. That woman has expensive taste!

Now, for Sarah Palin, here’s the best part: Her glitzy new wardrobe didn’t cost her a cent. She billed it all to St. Paul Republican fat cat Jeff Larson, who in turn was reimbursed by the Republican National Committee, which then reported the clothing expenses as “campaign accessories.”

Anxious to dispel any impression that Palin’s living high on the hog, McCain staffers insisted that her wardrobe windfall is only temporary. Immediately after the election, they assured reporters, the governor will donate all her campaign clothing to charity. Sure, she will. In fact, she’s already picked out her favorite charity: Alaska’s home for unwed mothers.

Visit Mr. Press’s website at billpressshow.com.