Fired

Now that Don Imus has been fired, who else should be pink-slipped?

Here are my candidates:

Alberto Gonzales: I have lots of friends at the Justice Department, so this may seem hard. But it ain’t. Al has got to go. The days are counting down for this Administration, and for it to be able to get anything done with the limited time left, it needs to throw any excess baggage overboard. In other words, if you aren’t helping, you are hurting.

Nancy Pelosi: First Syria, next stop Iran? Let’s stop confusing the world, and leave diplomacy with the Executive Branch. Can you imagine if Newt decided to sit down with Milosevic while he was ethnic-cleansing the Balkans?

Al Sharpton: He should be fired as the top civil rights protester. Sharpton’s involvement in the Imus affair actually brought more sympathy for Imus. It took Al Roker’s blog to finally convince NBC to fire him. Sharpton has long lost any credibility, but that hasn’t stopped him from convincing the media that he still is the force to be reckoned with.

Any member of the Media Associated with the Duke Rape Case: Too numerous to mention, but they know who they are. Mike Nifong is already gone. But what about the Media? Shouldn’t they be accountable too? This is probably one of the most outrageous examples of a media lynching in our nation’s history. Somebody should be held accountable.

Whoever spent all of McCain’s money: The Presidential campaign of John McCain is running on fumes already and it is only April. Of 2007! McCain’s burn rate is hotter than Hades, and his cash on hand is now closer to Sam Brownback than to Hillary Clinton.

The Anna Nicole Smith Story: This whole story should be fired. I am sick of it. It reveals a fairly disgusting side of American life. I think the whole affair should be banished from the airways forever.

Katie Couric: Complete disaster. Katie is a ratings failure. Almost unwatchable. Bring back Bob Schieffer.

Lou Pinella. Lou is a class act. But why is he with the Cubs? As a proud Chicago White Sox fan, it saddens me to think of Lou Pinella as a Cub. Fire him now and protect his image forevermore.