A Few Good Plagiarized Lines

If you are a film buff and have been following the steroid hearings on Capitol Hill, I guarantee you are going to get a kick out of the following exchange.

The only problem: This was passed along by the friend of a friend, and its author is unknown to me or the person who sent it to me.

So please, in the spirit of full disclosure and ever mindful of the current “plagiarism” flap being played out between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, let’s solve this Internet mystery and give credit where credit is due.

Until then, it is just too good not to share. And, to the purist film buffs, please don’t beat me up over the one small edit I made. This is a family blog. Enjoy.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I think I’m entitled to them.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I want the truth!

Clemens: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has
baseballs. And those balls have to be hit by men with bats. Who’s gonna
do it? You? You, Congressman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for steroids and you curse HGH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that HGH, while illegal, probably sells tickets. And my existence, while
grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets … You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like ‘fastball,’ ‘slider,’ ‘split-finger’ … we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a sport. You use ’em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and falls asleep to the ‘Sportscenter’ clips I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and dig in. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: (Quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: You’re damn right I did!