Santa’s going to have 60 extra seconds this year to make his super speedy cameo at Rep. Tim Burchett’s Christmas party — the Tennessee Republican says he’s extending his holiday festivities from 15 minutes to a whopping 16 minutes.
Burchett told ITK in an interview that at last year’s 15-minute inaugural bash in Washington, he “really just couldn’t pack it all in.”
“I thought, well, let’s put another minute on it and see if that works this year.”
Burchett, who’s known to add some levity at the Capitol with his rapid-fire wisecracks, made headlines last year when he first floated his brief holiday soiree.
“You go to a Christmas party and you’re sitting there drinking some watered-down drink and some crappy hors d’oeuvres that probably were froze from last year’s Christmas party,” the 59-year-old lawmaker said of a traditional holiday gathering. “And you’re stuck there talking to somebody with wine breath, and you can’t get away from them and you’re thinking, ‘Dang, 15 minutes.’”
“So I’m just thinking, that’s all you really need,” Burchett reasoned.
He played hype man to his Tuesday afternoon fete at the Longworth House Office Building.
The blink-and-you-miss-it event will feature a performance by members of a bipartisan prayer group.
And even Old Saint Nick himself will be making an appearance — in the form of one of Burchett’s colleagues in Congress.
“Jared Moskowitz is going to be Santa Claus this year,” Burchett said of the Florida Democrat, whom he called a “good friend.”
“Somebody said, ‘You know he’s Jewish, don’tcha?’ And I said, ‘Dagnabbit, my savior’s Jewish. My Santa Claus can be Jewish, too.”
Touting last year’s get-together as “huge,” Burchett said the canapes included “Ritz crackers and Cheez Whiz.” An invitation obtained by ITK noted that “refreshments will probably be provided” at this year’s “second annual Very Carhartt Christmas.”
“I always thought ‘charcuterie,’ if I ever had another daughter, that’d be a cool name for her: Charcuterie Burchett,” he cracked.
So with so much yuletide razzmatazz, is Burchett predicting this to be the social function of the century?
“I think it’s the Christmas party of the millennium.”
The accelerated celebration won’t be a partisan affair, he noted.
“People get mad that I’m cavorting with Democrats and stuff — and I’m sure the Democrats scratch their head — but I really don’t give a rip. I don’t think when you go to heaven they’re going to check your voter ID.”
“It’s just gonna be fun,” Burchett said. “I love Jesus. I love Christmas. And I love the people I work with, and I don’t care what party they’re in, or what nationality or their religious beliefs. We’re just we’re all just here trying to figure it out.”