“Bachelor” star Colton Underwood came out as gay in an emotional new interview, sharing that “I ran from myself for a long time.”
“Obviously, like this year’s been a lot for a lot of people, it’s probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they’ve been running from or what they’ve been putting off in their lives, and for me, I ran from myself for a long time,” Underwood told Robin Roberts on “Good Morning America” in an interview released Wednesday.
“I’ve hated myself for a long time, and I’m gay,” he continued. “I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it, and the next step in all of this was letting people know. I’m still nervous, but it’s been a journey for sure.”
Underwood told “Good Morning America” that he knew he was “different” at the age of 6 and realized he was gay during his freshman year of high school. However, he recalled growing up in the Catholic church and around classmates and football teammates who made disparaging comments about LGBTQ+ people.
“I had already grown up in the Catholic church, I had gone to Catholic grade school, I had learned in the Bible that gay is a sin,” Underwood said.
While the former NFL player said that he is now “the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been in my life,” he also revealed that he previously struggled with suicidal thoughts and said that he “would have rather died than say ‘I’m gay,’ and I think that was sort of my wake-up call.”
When asked if he ever thought about harming himself, he told Roberts that there was a “moment in L.A. that I woke up and didn’t think I was going to wake up. I didn’t have the intention of waking up, and I did. And I think for me, that was my wake-up call of ‘This is your life. Take back control.’”
Underwood dated his pick from “The Bachelor,” Cassie Randolph, until last year. Randolph filed a restraining order against Underwood in 2020 due to alleged stalking and harassment. She accused Underwood of installed a tracking device underneath her car and more.
Randolph later dropped the restraining order.
Underwood in the interview released Wednesday apologized to Randolph, saying that “I messed up. I made a lot of bad choices.”
“I wish that I would have been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else,” he said.
“I’m still the same Colton everybody met on TV. I’m still the same Colton to my friends and my family, I just happen to be able to share with people now all of me,” he added later. “And I am proud of that, you know? I am proud to be gay.”
In a first for “The Bachelor” franchise, “Bachelor in Paradise” in 2019 featured a same-sex engagement between stars Demi Burnett and Kristian Haggerty.
People experiencing suicidal thoughts or urges can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.