DNC mocks Trump, GOP with fake transcript

Democrats took advantage of April Fools’ Day to spoof Thursday’s meeting between Donald Trump and the Republican National Committee chairman in a fake transcript “found at the Tortilla Coast restaurant” across from RNC headquarters. 

The prank details the Democratic National Committee’s idea of how Trump’s talk with RNC Chairman Reince Priebus played out Thursday.

{mosads}”Last time I’m gonna tell you, Rincey-Princey — you call me Mister Trump,” it starts off.

“Can we talk message?” Priebus asks Trump. “We seriously have a problem. I mean, there’s a reason we do polling. We need to talk about our plans in a way that the public will actually accept.

“I mean, the stuff about Mexicans and Muslims – that’s only said behind closed doors. And we can’t have another year like we did with [2012 GOP presidential nominee] Mitt [Romney].”

“Failed candidate,” Trump responds. “Choke artist. He choked like a dog. What a loser. I supported him. Decent guy.”

Priebus then rebukes Trump for publicly exposing the GOP’s message on immigrants, Muslims and women.

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point,” he tells Trump. “The stuff you’re saying is the same stuff that cost him the election.

“All I’m saying is we need to be just a little bit more … welcoming. Just a touch less hate. And the stuff you just said this week about punishing women who get abortions—”

“Always been consistent,” Trump says, cutting Priebus off. “100 percent pro-life. But I’m flexible. And there are exceptions. But the law is the law.

“When I’m president, no abortions. Unless you’re really, really rich, which is fantastic. Or not. Totally consistent.”

Priebus eventually gives up on toning Trump down in the DNC’s fake transcript, leaving the billionaire with his waiter, Gov. Chris Christie (R-N.J.), who wears a tuxedo T-shirt in the RNC scenario because it reminds Trump he’s from New Jersey.

In the end, Trump promises to send Priebus a case of his “classiest” vodka and comes up with the idea to paint the White House in gold leaf and put a golf course on the National Mall. 

Trump on Thursday did meet Priebus, visiting the RNC headquarters amid controversy over reneging on his pledge to support the eventual GOP presidential nominee.

He also sparked outrage on Wednesday by suggesting that women deserve punishment for getting abortions if the procedure were illegal. The real estate tycoon later said he meant doctors would be punished, not patients.