Bullying impairs the development of healthy mental health

October is National Bullying Prevention month and the opportune time to highlight the effects of bullying during childhood and adulthood. While childhood bullying has been widely described. Its effects are less well known. Even less unknown are the ways in which adults bully each other, and the effects which ensue.

Bullying during childhood is particularly concerning because any kind of trauma impairs normal brain development, and bullying is most certainly traumatic. If bullying is persistent and escalates into physical or sexual assault, it can actually halt normal brain development and cause abnormal development. These altered developmental processes in a child’s brain can lead to difficulties with emotional regulation, sensory integration problems, difficulties with cognitive development (or the ability to think, organize and plan), and even retard physical development.

{mosads}Bullying consists of verbal assaults and emotional abuse in addition to the more commonly recognized physical assaults and humiliation. On the playground, children who are being bullied display body language that can be readily identified. They may appear slumped, against a wall, head down, hands in pockets, isolative and avoidant of peers, and crying. If they are not supported and intervention is delayed, their brains and psych will react immediately. Psychological defenses that can develop are avoidance, and poor self esteem. Avoidance is seen by kids not interacting with others, not taking appropriate and age-related risks (like trying new things, making new friends, or trying out for a sports team). Self esteem begins to fall because the child begins to internalize the bullying and begins to believe that they are deserving of being badly treated and disliked.

It is of utmost importance that adults intervene on behalf of children and stop the bullying activity. It is not adequate to merely ask that the bullied child learn to “put in perspective” or “to ignore it.” The bullying must stop, and the adults in charge–school professionals, parents, babysitters, clergy, coaches, and friends must have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to bullying. No one involved in a bullying situation goes unscathed. The bully must also learn to stop bullying. Often the bully is also being mistreated at home or at another location–that bully needs help too.

While the signs of bullying may be more readily identified between children, bullying between adults can be more subtle. Unfortunately, bullying between adults is very common and largely an acceptable behavior. But it should not be. Spouses bully each other every time they do not engage in respectful communications. Bullying is manipulative. Bully is coercive. Bullying during adulthood is experienced in the home, at work, at school, in the media and in sports arenas.

The effects of this bullying are similar to the effects during childhood, except there is not as dramatic damage to brain development. However, the trauma of bullying can significantly affect a person’s psyche and psychological well-being. When the psyche is damaged, that leads to physically poor health too. Stress from being bullied can lead to increased cortisol levels which suppresses the immune system, which in turn leads to increased risk of infections and viral illnesses such as getting the cold or flu more easily.

We are all responsible for stopping bullying. It is possible to stop bullying, and it starts with taking greater responsibility for the ways in which we interact with others, and how we treat ourselves in general. If we are kind to ourselves, we will be kind to others. And the more we practice being kind to ourselves and others, the easier it will be to recognize when someone else is being bullied. Cultivating the ability to be kind is empowering and will motivate each of us to stand up and stop the bullying behaviors around us. It is impossible to tolerate bullying while practicing kindness.

Having the courage to stop bullying is within each of us, and is desperately needed in today’s world where we are continually being desensitized to aggression. Children need adults to step in and eradicate bullying so that they may develop their brains, bodies and psyche appropriately. Adults need to stop bullying each other, and they need to begin cultivating and practicing being kind. It only takes 28 days to form a habit. For this one month, practicing being kind to oneself and to others each day will begin a habit that can continue for life.

Gayani DeSilva, M.D. is a child & adolescent psychiatrist. You can find her at LagunaPsych.com.