Why is the NFL so clueless about halftime?

Is there any process by which the NFL constantly chooses losers like
Hank Williams Jr. and Madonna to sing at football games? Besides the
fact that they are all about a hundred years old and pick someone whose
career ended decades ago like the Who. There is one issue here that can
be seen via the use of “psychological types”; the thing they use in TQM
systems and in the Army similar to Myers-Briggs testing.
 
If you take a logic-based employee like a lawyer or investor and ask her
to choose between the Beatles and the Rolling Stones as to who she
likes best, she will usually choose The Rolling Stones. That is, if she
is a really good lawyer of investor. Because a logic-based, left-brain
type doesn’t have a clue regarding true art, because it resides in a
different part of the brain. You will need someone else to be in the
group to help in those decisions, and that person won’t be any good at
investing.

Apparently they have none in the NFL. And because American football is such a logic-based, strategy-oriented game — tune in to the conversation one Sunday afternoon to Curt, Terry, Michael, Jimmy and Howie — they will make the same kind of selections lawyers do.
 
The Hank Williams Jr. episode is especially painful because possibly no other has brought American music to its spiraling descent than Jr. It is reported that his daughter Holly was surprised when she met Bob Dylan and again when she met Neil Young. They were delighted and honored to meet her because, they said, due to her grandfather, the real Hank Williams, the father of country music, the father of contemporary American music, to which Dylan’s first attempts were mere knockoffs. Hank Williams? You mean my grandfather? A singer? Didn’t ring a bell.
 
Y’all ever hear of Merle Haggard, Kris Kristofferson, Funky Donnie Fritts, Willie Nelson? They are all actual artists, and some are still alive. I think. How about Toby Keith and Taylor Swift? One of her videos about a football game has 128,828,590 hits on YouTube. But you see problems there?
 
Super Bowl happens once a year and like Thanksgiving and Fourth of July is an indigenous American holiday. Why leave the middle part as an afterthought? Why they just drag some Euro nihilist out of rehab or jail is one of the great money mysteries in our time.

Whoever makes these decisions might look to the very left-brain Mitt Romney for advice. As he has done with so many things, he took charge of the Winter Olympics in 2002 when it was falling apart. But in the end the final product contained the creative musical polymath Robbie Roberton of the Band and a variety of Native American singers and performers and dancers including Rita Coolidge to introduce the contests. Unlike the Super Bowl, there was a unified theme to the event: homage to the White Buffalo, the Native American myth of transcendence. Masterful.
 
What madness will Madonna bring us this February? Will she top Janet Jackson in insidious mayhem? I will be walking my dog then, and so will most of my neighbors.
 
And by the way, that “Good morning, good morning” jingle they played during the game on Sunday last with the boys all smiling on the way to work in a convertible, has played all across Canada and the Northern states for years as the Viagra jingle. Is someone playing games with you?